Navigating the hotel buffet

 

Navigating the hotel buffet breakfast

It starts with timing. When between the opening and closing time should you venture onto the breakfast floor? Should you go early hoping to miss the crowds eager to fill their stomachs or late just before closing to have a relatively free run?

Whenever you go it starts with a queue and the inevitable identity check. Room number now displays your passport photo so there is no doubt who is eligible to enter.

No free choice of table, you are steered to an available area. You are lucky if you get a sea view.

Given a table and a pot of coffee enables you to plan your next move. A reconnaissance is needed to find out where your favourite cereals are plus a navigation plan to avoid queues especially for the English breakfast.

OK, we will start with a rapid expedition to cereals and juice with a detour to avoid the coffee machines and the queue for the toaster.

Safely back at the table and time to relax and enjoy the start of breakfast.

Cereals finished and the plate whipped away immediately after my last mouthful it is time for the big tour!

Quick observation shows that the queue around the toaster is not too long, and they have just refreshed the bacon and sausage area so it will be an English breakfast. Off the starting blocks, picked up a plate and 2 pieces of bread and arrived at the toaster to find a tourist has taken charge of the queue. After reminding us that his toast is first, he said it was OK to place my bread behind his! Toast finished, jogged over to the English breakfast queue, and started to load a fried egg, a sausage and one piece of bacon when a large, no, fat German pushed in and loaded three of everything on his plate and waddled off holding his plate with both hands.

Back at the table and pleasantly satisfied with a second cup of coffee it is time to enjoy the circus they call buffet breakfast.

There is at least a couple of hundred guests in this long room all vying for food. Mostly European with a majority being English and German they come in all shapes and sizes. Young, old, skinny and fat they rush around in a kaleidoscope of bright clothing or sometimes next to no clothes at all! Clearly some have just arrived. A little self-conscious and unsure of their holiday dress code they stand out with their pale skins. In contrast those that have been here a few days are either brown or red depending on their exposure to the sun.

A constant flow of bodies to and fro provides a pageant of colour and culture that is the hallmark of the holiday hotel buffet breakfast.