Catching a flight

 

 

Surviving holiday air travel

It is all about luck whether you make it without incident. Take the case of our trip to the UK.

Normally we like to take an early flight out and a late flight back. This is both cheaper and gives you more time on your holiday destination.

Early means a 7.30 or 8am departure! So up at 0430, no breakfast and constantly checking out of the window for the taxi, hope it is on time and it is. Final check on pockets, passport, tickets, wallet, mobile and spectacles. All in order and we take the taxi to the station to catch one of the first airport express trains. At this time of the morning there are few travellers, a smattering of airport workers and flight attendants clutching cups of coffee. We have learnt it is best to try for the front of the train and we are helped by the letters on the station floor. Letter C will get us in the first carriage so long as it is a short train.

On time the train arrives, there is a rush of air, and the doors open, and we manhandle our luggage on board to find there are a lot of travellers and our luggage must stand in the aisle. By the time we have done this there are a few single seats scattered here and there. Kindly ask a lady to move her bag from a vacant seat so I can sit down, and we are off.

Thirty minutes later the train tannoy announces we are arriving at the airport. Immediately people stand up and jostle for position at the same time try to extract their luggage from the racks. Chaos, best to remain seated and wait for them to clear the door. Calmly exit the train with luggage and join the queue to go through the turnstile onto the platform. A lady is having trouble with her mobile app so with a deft and quick manoeuvre we change lanes and get through. One of the conveyer moving stairs is not working so a queue is backed up to the platform. Nothing to do but be patient, we have plenty of time.

The departure hall is absolutely full and complete chaos reigns. Then I remembered, it is the first day after the schools break up for summer and everyone, I mean everyone is out travelling! This going to be a nightmare. However, check in went reasonably smoothly and we got our baggage tags and paper boarding cards for extra security. Where is the back of the queue for baggage drop, I enquired. About 200 metres that way said a smug person at the front of the queue. Well, well I hope we make the flight in time. Forty minutes later we cleared baggage drop and prepared ourselves for the next hurdle, security. Waiting time 15 minutes it said, not too bad, and then a lady redirected us to a new queue which seemed shorter. Great, time to prepare, belt off, all things out of pockets, rucksack in one tray all the other objects in another, Shoes included because I have two artificial knees, I know the procedure if I do not put the shoes through first, they will be passed back for a second run the machine.

Passed through the machine and it beeped and showed red as I pointed at my stainless-steel knees. Knowing the procedure I stood on the yellow footprints, raised my arms over my head and waited for the machine to do its job. The lady gestured for me to exit and turn around as she patted me down first with hands and then with a portable machine. All OK but out of interest I asked to see the picture taken and it did not reveal my knees, only the metal buttons on my shirt. Well, Well.

Searched for my two trays but only one was available. The second one with the rucksack was in the clutches of a man who asked, Is this your bag sir? Yes, I said sure that I had checked everything that might be a problem in my checked in luggage. A check on the screen and he extracted my Kindle from the sack. This should have been placed separately on a tray, I was informed. No point in arguing that a Kindle is not a PC so smiled at him and he let me go.

Clutching my 2 trays whilst at the same time trying to keep my trousers from falling down I tiptoed on my stocking feet to a free table and started the laborious task for getting dressed again! Double check, passport, boarding card, mobile, wallet and spectacles. All in order and ready for the next challenge, finding the gate and getting some breakfast.

Skirted around the duty-free shops and headed for passport control as we were leaving the Schengen region. Two queues, one for Europeans and one for others! With the luxury of dual citizenship, I chose to use my brand-new Norwegian passport and sailed through the system.

Exhausted and needing to sit down we found a café with a couple of seats and ordered coffee and a baguette. Half an hour later the information board stated, “go to gate” and we were off another obstacle race called air travel.